The theory of Evolution was actually invented in the 22nd Century, and retro-fitted to the world's science history by engineers at Microsoft-Walmart, it can now be revealed.

Charles Darwin did, it is believed, exist, but he spent most of his life as a boatbuilder in Whitsable, who won one of the first Music Hall reality shows, hosted by Robert ('Charley') Dickens.

Although the world in fact began very much as in the seven-day account given in the bible, the software engineers at Microsoft-Walmart decided it was time for a new theory and a complete rewrite of intellectual perceptions "just as a lark". Later "larks" included Einstein's theory of relativity.

Karl Marx was a hologram. Jesus saves.